The women on Real Housewives Of Atlanta are among the most shallow bitches on the planet.

Lisa Wu Hartwell, Sheree Whitfield, Nene Leaks, Deshawn Snow, and Kim Zolciak. They look pretty innocent sitting there in there little dresses. Big Pretty White smiles and everything. Does Bravo realize that they have possibly stirred up some of the most rancid humans to ever walk the planet? Now before I get started I will say this: Deshawn Snow does in fact seem like a genuinely nice person and is the most down to earth out of all of them…. But she’s still pretty far disconnected. The rest of these women – you’ve got to be kidding me.

Do they actually think that Bravo is making a show about how interesting and tasteful they are? Did the producers somehow spin this to them that they are making an exposé about they classy lives they lead or the value they add to society? At any point did it dawn on these dumb ass cunts that they were just the butt of an enormous joke?

Ladies, here is a news flash: With each passing week, you expose more of your worst attributes.

Do you see your husbands and boyfriends sitting in the background going “I don’t beleee dat she is sayin dis shit.”

I want to make this Very Very Clear.

Lisa – you look like a fake ass whore that is hood rich. Go back to teh ghetto.

Sheree – Gross. You need a makeover. You have tits that look as hard as softballs … hold it, you’re probably taking that as a compliment. Your tits are fucking nasty. go take that shit out of your chest and return to the AA cup that you used to be. Reduce the amount of makeup that you wear. Take your hooker hoops out. Your fashion sense sucks, yet you try and create your own line of clothing? Somehow in your infinite wisdom you decided that your clothing comps would be built by a third party and shipped to you THE DAY BEFORE YOUR DEBUT PARTY?!?!? you fuckin tool. Who the fuck plans that poorly? If you need a good way to burn through thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars give it to me and I’ll take us both to the strip club so you can shove that big nose of yours deep into a stripper’s poophole.

Nene - Fuck me. Where do I start. Okay I know. Let’s try not wearing shirts that cut all the way down to your tubby tummy – fat ass. Your boobs looked good 4 cup sizes ago – cut back on the calories and maybe those big brown ashey hangers won’t point to your feet like a gorilla’s nipples. You have got more BITCH in you than a bull-dyke festival. I really did like your idea about the charity auction … until I realized that the amount of money you probably spent on your frilly hats was probably 10 times the money you donated to charity. Well done. FAIL.

Deshawn - like I said …. you get a pass … FOR NOW! But I’m fucking watching you. Don’t forget about guilt by association.

Kim Zolciak – And here we arrive at the créme de la créme. You old hag. I barely have the patience or energy to put my hatred into words about you. In case nobody has driven this point home, please allow me to do the honors.

YOU CANNOT SING!!!!!!!11!

Fuck. Please STOP trying. I am not an expert on music. I did take 2 years of choir in middle school, but guess what – I knew enough to stop singing. Nowadays I sing on three occasions: 1.) When I am serenading my wife in a torturous manner. 2.) When I am in my car ALONE with the music cranked so high that I can’t even hear myself sing. 3.) When I am drunk as a fucking skunk at a karake bar. Please apply my rules immediately and stop SINGING for the love of GOD PLEASE YOU FUCKING TOOL! You dumb twat. “I don’t need to learn how do to this because I’m a SINGER.” you idiot. Christ you are so stupid. That’s like saying you don’t have to learn how the gas pedal works on a car because you’re a DRIVER. You can’t have one without the other fool!

Also – please pay attention to what I said about Nene and her tits. You are in the same ballpark with your mature mellons. Please don’t let me see all 8 inches of boob-armpit when you wear your skanky ass tops. On a chick your age that shit is NOT attractive, and on a chick with that much crease to show it’s not either. On an old woman like you, it’s outright revolting. Go back to fashion school.

kthxbai.

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